And the Platinum Pustule for Really Stupid Song goes to The Black Eyed Peas.
Reputed to be “one of the most popular hit singles in history”, the song is called My Humps. It’s also probably one of the most complained-about songs in history so unfortunately we’re not breaking any new ground here. Most recently parodied by Alanis Morrissette as an April fool joke, you can find her version plus the original on any one of a dozen video hosting sites, if you feel like clubbing some brain cells to death.
I can barely bring myself to put these lyrics in here, partly because they make my mind so numb I can hardly remember how to copypaste, and partly because they might act like google fly paper and then, well, there goes the neighbourhood. A sample, nevertheless:
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.
My lovely lady lumps (lumps)
My lovely lady lumps (lumps)
My lovely lady lumps (lumps)
my lovin' got you
She's got me spendin'.
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me and spending time on me.
She's got me spendin'.
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me, up on me, on me.
…and so on.
I wish they’d invent a pill for radio intolerance, because it puts a person at a terrible disadvantage. I think if I could hum along to songs about girls who feel wretched about cheatin’ on their guy and feel they may as well be puttin’ a gun to his head but they really just can’t help it, I could quite enjoy life. That’s Rihanna, and she takes runner up for her song “Unfaithful”.
LyricBlokka TM, get it now at these fine stores. I’d be in there like a shot.
Nominations for the next Awards welcome. To qualify, songs must have actual lyrics but needn’t be current hits.
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1 comment:
I owe a debt of gratitude to the Black Eyed Peas. This song served as a catalyst in my decision to abandon the South African airwaves (aside from when I'm broadcasting along them) and instead throw myself unquestioningly into the warm embrace of Web 2.0.
So infantile is the content of South African radio (except when I'm on it) that I have given it up entirely. I now go through the substantial PT of downloading a host of daily and weekly podcasts into my cellphone so that I can join the hordes of MP3-fuelled drivers.
Although my specific selection of podcasts only really serves to reinforce my already-entrenched beliefs and opinions, I would rather sacrifice well conceived dissenting perspectives and fresh artistic endeavour if it means never having to endure "lady lumps" ever again.
Thank you, Fergie and the gang, for convincing me to chew off my intellectual foot.
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